I hate to live......what should i do?

See a psychologist. You're 21. You don't need your father's concern in order to find help. I swear a thousand times and again that a professional can help you cope with your social anxieties and depression way more than the multitude of answers that invariably come up when someone contemplates suicide on YA will. See help, and don't give up. You haven't even started to help yourself, so don't think that there is no hope for change.